Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Wow so it's been 2 years and a few days since I wrote on this here blog. Forgot how to log in- ha ha.

So the new year has come with a lot of stress and anxiety due to so many things...
Health (ugh bronchitis)
On top of finding work
Fitness/ healthy habits
Breaking through stress

But strangely enough even with this massive amount of added stress I had not had many panic attacks since August of 2014. It was early in 14' that I decided I wanted to go it alone on these dear panic attacks- when I saw alone I mean minus meds. Between lexipro, Prozac, and Xanax I was done with feeling out of it at times. I guess the drugs were doing their job of breaking down the anxiety, but to me it was making me lose focus. In fact the z-pack that I took in early 2015 made me so exhausted I literally spent almost 3 days in bed and caught myself wondering where the hell I was. I felt so out of it and I wanted to scream, yet I felt so lazy I couldn't move.

On top of that the Florida in me has come out. I find myself praying for a sunny day to pick up
Some Vitamin D! I'm thinking tomorrow just may be that day. I NEED sun, please come back!

So I finally headed back to church on Sunday. It's amazing how I feel a strong pull to always go back after I've been gone for a while- working, holidays, being lazy,etc.
Yet the week I come back I'm always so inspired and it is as if the sermon was written to pull at my heart strings. This past week was no different and I left like a girl on a mission to put aside my "idols" as our pastor put it. I'll talk about that more as I spend Friday re-reading some passages.

On Monday I spent the day in Kindergarten and my patience were tired with 3 willful little boys! Melt downs and such of course are a part of K. I'm surprised how much I've changed as a person, teacher, tutor,etc. In 4 years since my own kindergarden internship. Without going to detailed tonight-  kindergarten teachers are super heroes with extra super powers!
It's amazing how a similar situation in K and then 4th grade today with two boys can end up so different.

I'm going to take on a challenge this year and try to keep reminding myself to use one small word this year- CHANGE!

My attitude
My Spending
My relationships (mainly with GOD)
Stress levels
Maybe my waist size

The new year seems to be bringing lots of headaches again and I'm going to look for a solution to that as well. All in due time- heck it's only the 14th!

First and foremost I've got to find a way to let out my anger/sadness/ mad/upset/ etc. and not let it boil! Facebook and blogger are not to be used For this platform. So if a post goes south into Negative land- a big ole delete is going to happen! I'm going to also attempt to not let my negativity run on Facebook- no one needs it!!!!

Lots more to talk about but now that the dogs are again quiet and maybe ready for bed, it's time to sleep!!!

Subbing in the morning- thankfully!!!!